No Time to Panic

Introduction

For more than two decades, ABC News correspondent Matt Gutman clandestinely grappled with overwhelming panic attacks amid his daring reporting from some of the globe's most treacherous locations. While recognized publicly for his fearless journalism showcased on programs like Good Morning America, Gutman's stoicism crumbled during routine live broadcasts, unleashing paralyzing anxiety.

The culmination of his struggle burst into the public eye in January 2020 when an on-air panic attack caused Gutman to fumble details while covering the tragic helicopter crash involving Kobe Bryant. This incident resulted in a suspension, accompanied by profound shame and remorse for inaccurately portraying the crash scene.

This pivotal moment compelled Gutman to finally confront his anxiety, a hidden struggle that spanned decades. Embarking on a personal odyssey, he delved into the scientific underpinnings of panic and explored various treatments with guidance from the world's leading experts. From conventional therapy and medication to cutting-edge psychedelic experiments, Gutman left no stone unturned.

While a definitive cure for panic disorders remains elusive, this audiobook imparts wisdom and hope to fellow anxiety sufferers. It also sheds light on a transformative journey, providing a beacon of guidance for those seeking a path forward.

Chapter 1: Unmasking Panic

At the tender age of 12, Matt Gutman faced a devastating loss when his 42-year-old father perished in a sudden plane crash. This early trauma propelled Matt into a career in journalism, characterized by his reputation for fearlessness. Some friends even speculated that his daring pursuits bordered on a subconscious flirtation with an early exit, echoing the tragic circumstances of his father's demise. Despite reporting from some of the world's most perilous conflict zones, such as Iraq, Afghanistan, and Gaza, Matt's outward composure belied his private struggle with incapacitating panic attacks.

As Matt approached his own forty-second birthday in December 2019, he found himself grappling with the peculiar reality of surpassing his father's age. Shortly thereafter, at another crash site, Matt experienced a panic attack that led to the misreporting of critical details surrounding the tragic accident that claimed the lives of basketball player Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gianna, and eight others.

In the aftermath of this professional setback, Matt faced suspension, providing him with the opportunity to confront the panic disorder that had long constrained his life. He embarked on a journey of understanding, starting with the basics. Here's what he discovered.

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), a panic attack is characterized by a sudden and intense surge of fear peaking within minutes. While fear is a natural response to immediate threats, anxiety involves anticipation of future dangers and frequently precipitates panic attacks. Approximately 5 percent of Americans grapple with panic disorder, marked by recurring unexpected panic episodes and persistent anxiety about experiencing such episodes. Estimates for the broader category of Americans who have encountered at least one panic attack vary, with figures reaching as high as 85 million individuals.

So, what transpires during a panic attack? The amygdala, a brain structure resembling an almond, serves as an instinctive threat detector. It detects potential dangers before the rational frontal cortex can respond thoughtfully. During a panic episode, the amygdala commandeers the brain's emotional system, prompting the hypothalamus to activate the body's fight, flight, or freeze response by releasing adrenaline and stress hormones. This acute stress reaction readies the body to confront perceived threats.

The physical symptoms of panic align with those required for evading, confronting, or freezing in response to genuine physical threats. However, during a panic attack, the amygdala misinterprets everyday stresses or anxieties, needlessly elevating the emergency response system. Panic attacks deceive sufferers into believing they are facing imminent death, as the physical sensations mimic mortal danger. This explains the intense realism of these attacks, despite the absence of any genuine mortal threat.

Chapter 2: Unveiling Anxiety's Ancient Roots

As a seasoned journalist, Matt Gutman possessed the instinct to pose probing questions—persistently seeking answers beyond the surface-level soundbites. Following his suspension, faced with a pivotal choice between understanding his panic attacks and considering a career shift, he opted for the former and turned to experts, embarking on an inquiry that would reshape his perspective.

Numerous physicians and scientists sought to reassure Matt that panic is merely a quirk of the brain, not an inherent flaw. While comforting, this explanation left him unsatisfied. After all, as an evolved species, why are we susceptible to this so-called brain trick? What prompts us to experience panic in the first place?

Matt's quest for answers led him to neurobiologist Robert Sapolsky, who unraveled the evolutionary origins of anxiety. Key stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol, emerged roughly 500 million years ago in early vertebrates. While dinosaurs possessed complex brains, they lacked the capacity for chronic worrying. Their reptilian brains could trigger fight or flight responses to immediate threats, but persistent, future-oriented anxiety eluded them.

Around 20-25 million years ago, apes developed the ability to experience fear in advance through stress hormones like glucocorticoids. This adaptation allowed them to recognize and preemptively respond to threats, avoiding hazards associated with last-minute escapes. The concept of "planning through anxiety" conferred an evolutionary advantage, enabling apes to conserve energy and enhance survival odds.

Apes also introduced abstract fears, no longer relying on an imminent threat like a chase to elicit anxiety. This biological insurance policy of generalized anxiety proved evolutionarily advantageous. Early human ancestors further elevated fear and worry with an enhanced ability to contemplate beyond the present. While individual worries may be taxing, this heightened cognitive capacity provided a net advantage for the species.

Approximately 20,000 years ago, humans mastered abstract thinking, intensifying the experience of anxiety. Conceptual threats, such as social judgment, could now trigger the acute stress response, akin to the way predators did for early primates. While anxiety in primates served the purpose of surviving real dangers, in humans, this response extends to hypothetical threats. Our unparalleled capacity for worry, while adaptive, can sometimes lead to excessive stress when abstract threats are given equal weight to tangible ones.

Chapter 3: The Lingering Stigma of Panic Attacks

In December 2020, despite returning to work, Matt Gutman found himself grappling with the familiar stirrings of panic attacks nearly every time he prepared to go on air. On a flight back from covering the COVID-19 vaccine rollout, he was overcome by the compulsion to confide in the woman seated beside him about his panic disorder.

As Matt shared his experience, he couldn't shake the concern of potential judgment. To his surprise, the woman revealed that her own daughter battled a similar disorder. This revelation brought Matt a sense of relief, prompting him to seek out support groups upon returning home. However, to his dismay, he discovered a glaring absence of formal support networks for panic disorders, unlike those available for other mental health conditions and addictions such as AA and NA.

Curious about this gap, Matt consulted psychologist Mitch Prinstein, who confirmed the scarcity of panic support groups. Prinstein attributed this dearth to the invisible nature of conditions like panic and anxiety. Furthermore, he pointed out that early psychoanalytic theory, associating symptoms with unconscious desires or childhood trauma, fostered shame, secrecy, and stigma in the origins of mental health care.

Despite the increased acceptance of anxiety disorders, Prinstein highlighted the persistent obscurity and misunderstanding surrounding panic. Its attacks are often mistaken for heart attacks or dismissed as mere nerves. With many sufferers unaware of their own condition, there has been limited advocacy for the creation of panic support spaces.

This sets off a harmful cycle where the lack of visibility for panic perpetuates silence and shame, hindering collective efforts to raise awareness and provide resources. While destigmatization campaigns have made strides for other mental health conditions, panic still lingers in the shadows due to its elusive and often undiagnosed nature.

Eventually, Matt discovered an online support group where he was struck by the profound impact of panic on the lives of fellow members. While his career-related panic was rooted in fears of social rejection, others grappled with fears tied to physical peril, such as driving or flying. These individuals faced primal fears of injury and death, dictating their daily decisions and activities.

For the first time, Matt gained perspective—he realized that, despite his recurrent panic attacks, he led a relatively functional life. Moreover, by sharing his fears with others, he felt the stigma surrounding his own panic beginning to dissipate.

Chapter 4: Navigating the Uncertain Landscape of Anxiety Treatment

Armed with months of research and insights gained from interviews with leading experts on panic and anxiety, Matt Gutman developed a comprehensive understanding of how panic impacted his mind and body. However, this newfound knowledge did not translate into a desire to endure panic attacks indefinitely. Matt discovered a diverse array of "cures" for his condition, although none proved to be foolproof.

His initial exploration led him to cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), recommended by specialist Dr. Michael Telch. Described as a two-pronged "sledgehammer" approach, CBT sought to empower patients by teaching them to recognize panic as a mental distortion rather than reality. By understanding that triggers like flying or crowds were, in fact, harmless despite the perceived danger, individuals could dismantle panic's hold over them. The second prong involved gradual exposure to fears, such as driving or public speaking, to systematically desensitize patients. Unlike psychodynamic analysis of the past, CBT directly confronted anxiety sources through practical techniques. While Matt appreciated CBT's pragmatism, he felt it did not address the core of his panic.

Intrigued by the transformative experiences of a friend, Matt delved into emerging evidence pointing toward psychedelics as a potential relief for anxiety and depression. Psychiatrist Ellen Vora assured him that psychedelic therapy was a reasonable treatment option in the context of evolving scientific understanding, dispelling outdated stigma that had constrained mental health care for decades. Psychedelics resonated with Matt's goal of fundamentally recalibrating, rather than temporarily muting, his panic response. He immersed himself in psychedelic healing, engaging in guided mushroom sessions, attending an ayahuasca retreat, and experimenting with ketamine, among other treatments.

While none of these approaches provided a magic-bullet solution, Matt discovered that psychedelics served as portals to confront pain without the typical fear when sober. Surrendering to grief instead of suppressing it, he experienced cathartic emotional release through intense crying. Initially concerning, Dr. Vora advocated "rebranding" intensive crying as a healthy digestion of unmetabolized emotions, rather than a pathological act. She emphasized that the supreme goal shouldn't be constant happiness; instead, embracing the human continuum, including grief, leads to true balance.

Chapter 5: Simplicity in Conquering Panic

Having weathered years of debilitating panic attacks and embarked on a dedicated journey to comprehend the intricacies of panic and anxiety, Matt Gutman emerged with six invaluable insights.

Firstly, recognize that panic attacks are transitory—the acute danger assessment phase typically lasts only 15 seconds to a minute. Remind yourself that you can endure the terror, and the anxiety that follows is manageable. Panic is never as incapacitating as it may seem.

Second, do not hesitate to seek assistance from mental health organizations or a therapist when needed. The repercussions of allowing panic to linger are too significant to ignore.

Third, share your burden with someone you trust. The relief derived from opening up often surpasses any potential cure. If that option isn't available, consider seeking free clergy counseling.

Fourth, employ slow breathing to counteract the blood chemistry that exacerbates panic. Practice extended inhales and exhales, incorporating breathwork for in-the-moment relief.

Fifth, reframe crying as a form of free therapy, especially for individuals conditioned not to express their emotions. Crying serves as a natural means of purging anxiety and grief, with more intense cries yielding greater chemical relief.

Sixth, engage in exercise to release endorphins, which bind to the same brain receptors as morphine, delivering a healthy sense of euphoria. Any physical activity, even a mere 10 minutes of walking, counts as a victory. Don't let perfectionism deter you.

In essence, controlling panic involves recognizing its temporary nature, seeking help, sharing your struggle, regulating your breathing, allowing yourself to cry, and moving your body. Remember, significant change can stem from small, manageable steps.

Summary

Despite the limited understanding of panic disorders, their prevalence is remarkably high. Fortunately, management options such as support groups, therapy, and alternative treatments exist. It is imperative that the stigma surrounding panic and anxiety be dismantled.

About the author

Matt Gutman serves as the Chief National Correspondent for ABC News, making consistent and valuable contributions to the network's premier programs, which encompass World News Tonight with David Muir, 20/20, Good Morning America, and Nightline.