ADHD for Smart Ass Women
How to Fall In Love With Your Neurodivergent Brain
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
by Tracy Otsuka
4/2/20246 мин чтение
Summary of “ADHD for Smart Ass Women - How to Fall In Love With Your Neurodivergent Brain” by Tracy Otsuka, written and narrated by Janky Mind.
Introduction
Imagine a club where brilliant women with unique minds come together. That’s “ADHD for Smart Ass Women.” It’s a place where women who think differently, often labeled as daydreamers or the ones who can’t sit still, find out that their vibrant minds are just wired in a special way - it’s called ADHD.
Remember how, as a kid, you were the one with the wandering thoughts during class? Now, as an adult, you might find yourself misplacing your keys or scrambling to finish tasks at the eleventh hour. It’s like your brain is a supercharged engine that sometimes races ahead without a map.
Turns out, many women share this journey, but they don’t realize it’s ADHD steering the ride. Tracy Otsuka, a woman who discovered this about herself later in life, decided to turn her experience into a roadmap for others. She became a coach, guiding women through the twists and turns of ADHD.
Life with ADHD is like a tapestry with more colors and patterns than most. It’s beautiful, but complex. With the right understanding and some handy life hacks, women with ADHD can weave their unique patterns into a masterpiece.
So, buckle up! It’s time for an adventure of self-discovery and empowerment. Let’s dive into the world of your extraordinary brain.
Lesson 1: Women with ADHD face unique challenges
Let’s dive into a story that’s all too familiar for many women. Picture Danielle, who as a little girl was always on the move and couldn’t stop chatting. Her teacher even called her “rattletrap,” a nickname that stuck but didn’t quite fit. It took 32 years for Danielle to discover that these quirks were signs of ADHD.
Danielle’s not alone. Many women have similar tales, where childhood’s endless energy and daydreams turn into adult years filled with confusion and self-doubt. And sometimes, it’s only when they have kids of their own that the pieces fall into place, especially if their sons are diagnosed with ADHD.
Why does this happen? Well, back in the day, ADHD was seen through a boy’s lens—think the hyperactive, can’t-sit-still type. But that’s not the whole picture, especially for women. They often have a quieter form of ADHD, where being shy, forgetful, or lost in thought are the main characters.
Take Triin, the quiet girl in class who was more into her dreams than the teacher’s words. She flew under the radar because she wasn’t disruptive, and it wasn’t until she was 41 that she learned about her ADHD.
Many women keep their ADHD struggles to themselves, which can take a toll on their mental health, leading to anxiety and depression. If this sounds like you, it’s time to seek out a specialist who gets it, particularly one who knows the female side of the story.
Before your appointment, jot down all the ways ADHD shows up in your life. This will help you make your case. And if you’re not taken seriously, trust your gut and look for a second opinion. Getting the right diagnosis can be a game-changer, opening the door to a life that feels more in sync with who you are.
In the upcoming sections, we’ll explore the unique hurdles women with ADHD face, from overthinking to relationship tangles. These challenges might seem daunting, but there are clever, straightforward strategies to navigate through them. Stay tuned!
Chapter 2: Too Many Thoughts
Do you ever feel like your mind is running a marathon without a finish line? This happens a lot to people with ADHD, especially women. Instead of being hyperactive on the outside, they’re super active on the inside, with their thoughts.
Imagine your brain is like a busy office with two main departments: the Dreamer’s Den (DD) and the Action Area (AA). In ADHD brains, these departments communicate differently. The Dreamer’s Den is where all the creative magic happens, but sometimes, it gets stuck in a loop of overthinking.
To switch from the Dreamer’s Den to the Action Area, which is all about focusing on the now, you need to do something that grabs all your attention. Like going for a walk, hitting the gym, diving into a good book, or chatting with a friend. These activities pull you out of the thought chaos and into the present moment.
Breathing exercises can also help. Try the 4-7-8 method: breathe in for 4 seconds, hold it for 7, and exhale for 8. Repeat this, and you’ll feel a wave of calm wash over you.
These tips are handy for those moments when emotions are too much, which can happen often for women with ADHD. Life’s pressures can make things harder, leading to doubts about yourself.
But remember, when you’re feeling overwhelmed, go back to these techniques. Breathe deeply, enjoy the outdoors, or get moving. These actions are not just calming; they give you power. They help you handle your ADHD and take charge of your life.
So, keep this in mind: you’re the boss of your thoughts and feelings. You can do it!
Chapter 3: The Procrastination Station
Ever feel like life’s to-do list is a mountain you just can’t climb? You’re staring at the kitchen, thinking about taxes, and your brain says, “Nope, not today.” That’s a classic case of the procrastination blues.
For those with ADHD, it’s like your brain is a wild horse that doesn’t want to trot along the boring path of routine tasks. It’s not laziness; it’s just that your brain’s control center works differently.
So, how do you tame this wild horse? Not with deadlines—they’re like fences that just make you want to jump over and run away. Instead, you need a map with small, fun stops along the way.
Here’s a secret plan that works wonders:
Find Your Why: Ask yourself, “Why am I doing this?” If cleaning the kitchen means you’ll feel like a zen master afterward, then that’s your why.
Memory Lane: Remember when you aced a snooze-fest task? What was your secret sauce? Friends? Music? Find that sauce and pour it on thick!
Play to Your Strengths: Love science? Tune into a podcast about black holes while you scrub those plates. Your ADHD brain loves to learn, so feed it some knowledge snacks.
Break It Down: Don’t look at the whole kitchen and freak out. Start with one spoon, then a plate, and before you know it, you’ve conquered Dish Mountain.
Feeling swamped? Pull out this map. First, dig up your why. Then, stroll down Memory Lane. Next, snack on some brain food. And lastly, take it one step at a time.
Remember, your ADHD brain is unique, like a fingerprint. Once you learn to work with it, you’ll leave procrastination in the dust. Ready, set, go!
Chapter 4: Navigating the Relationship Rollercoaster
ADHD can be like having a superpower in relationships. It brings out the fun, creativity, and spontaneity in you. Think of Otsuka, who went big and proposed with a plane and a banner – talk about making a splash!
In love and friendships, your ADHD traits like empathy and curiosity are like hidden treasures. They make you, well, you – and that’s awesome.
But let’s be real, ADHD can sometimes throw a wrench in the works. It’s like your brain is on a spacewalk, and oops, you forgot your partner’s birthday. These slip-ups can cause a bit of drama, but they’re not deal-breakers.
Romantic relationships can get extra spicy when ADHD’s in the mix. More arguments? Maybe. A higher chance of calling it quits? Statistics say so. Sometimes, it feels like one person becomes the boss, and no one likes being bossed around, right?
The secret weapon here is knowledge. Understanding ADHD is like having a map in a maze – it can guide you through the tricky parts. And when both partners get the map, well, that’s when the magic happens.
Sure, debates can heat up when ADHD’s involved. But before you go full debate champion, ask yourself: “Do I want to win, or do I want to be happy together?” That little question can turn a battle into a heart-to-heart.
Remember, a relationship is your cozy corner where you should feel loved just the way you are. For women with ADHD, it’s super important to trust your gut and stand your ground, especially if someone’s trying to mess with your mind.
So, here’s the takeaway: Your relationships should be your cheer squad, not a trial. You deserve someone who gets you and loves you – ADHD quirks and all. You’ve totally got this!
Final summary
ADHD in women is like a secret identity that often doesn’t get revealed until later in life. But once the secret’s out, it’s like gaining a new superpower. Understanding ADHD is like getting a user manual for your brain, helping you navigate everything from love to laundry.
If procrastination is your arch-nemesis, Otsuka’s got a four-step superhero plan to kick it to the curb. And remember, ADHD isn’t a kryptonite; it’s your cape! It comes with a bundle of super-traits like creativity, grit, and a big heart.
Need a sidekick? Try an analog clock. It’s like watching time fly, literally, helping you keep pace with the world.
About the author
Tracy Otsuka, a legal eagle by day and an ADHD coach by night, hosting the hit show “ADHD for Smart Ass Women” where she shares more heroic strategies.