Power Questions
Build Relationships, Win New Business, and Influence Others
COMMUNICATION SKILLS
by Andrew Sobel & Jerold Panas
3/7/20249 мин чтение
Introduction
Power Questions is like a magic wand for your conversations. It's a book that shows you how to use questions to make talks more interesting, solve problems differently, and make friends with people at work and in life.
Ever thought about how one question can change everything? Like when Albert Einstein wondered if he could ride a light beam, which led to big discoveries in science. Or when Peter Drucker asked companies to think about what they do, shaking up the business world. These stories show us that the right question at the right time can open doors we never knew existed.
In this book summary, you'll get a peek into 12 stories that show how powerful questions can be. You'll see how they can make you think differently, find new solutions, and build stronger bonds with people. It's all about asking better questions to see the world in a new light.
Are you ready to learn how to ask questions that can change your life? Let's start this adventure and see how asking the right things can help you understand more and connect better with everyone around you.
Lesson 1: The art of effective questioning.
Imagine you are in a meeting with a potential client, and they ask you to introduce yourself and your firm. How do you respond? Do you launch into a lengthy monologue about your credentials, achievements, and services? Or do you ask them a simple question that invites them to share more about their needs, goals, and challenges?
In this lesson, you will learn how the art of asking the right questions can make or break your professional interactions. You will see how this subtle skill can help you gain deeper insights, build stronger relationships, and achieve better outcomes. To illustrate this power, we will share three real-life stories that show how the right question, asked at the right time, can change everything.
The first story is about a young partner who missed a golden opportunity to connect with a major telecommunications company. He prepared a detailed presentation about his firm's capabilities, but when the client asked him to “tell us a bit about yourselves,” he bored them with irrelevant facts and figures. He failed to realize that the client was not looking for a sales pitch, but a conversation. His senior partner, on the other hand, knew how to turn the question around and ask, “What would you like to know about us?” This simple inquiry opened up a dialogue that allowed the client to express their specific interests and concerns, and the partner to address them accordingly.
The second story is about a lunch with Rich DeVos, the cofounder of Amway. His lunch partner was curious about DeVos's journey and asked him, “How did you get started?” This question sparked a fascinating story of entrepreneurial spirit, from taking a small loan to building a billion-dollar empire. The question not only inspired the listener, but also revealed the key ingredients of entrepreneurial success.
The third story is about a fundraising attempt that went wrong, but was saved by a humble admission and a genuine question. The solicitor approached Allan Favort, a potential donor, and asked him for a large donation for a specific engineering college. He assumed that Favort was interested in engineering, but he was wrong. Favort was offended by the solicitor's presumption and refused to donate.
The solicitor realized his mistake and asked for a second chance. He apologized and asked Favort to tell him more about his interests. He found out that Favort was passionate about the university's theater program, not engineering. He then redirected the conversation to that topic and secured a generous donation.
These three stories demonstrate how the right question, asked at the right time, can transform an ordinary interaction into a meaningful exchange. They show that the key to effective communication is not the information we provide, but the curiosity we show toward others’ perspectives, needs, and stories. As we explore these principles further, you will learn how to master the art of questioning in your own professional and personal life.
Lesson 2: Mastering the art of inquiry to foster deeper connections.
What if I told you that one of the most effective ways to improve your professional and personal relationships is something you already do every day, but probably not enough? I'm talking about asking questions. Questions are the key to unlocking insights, understanding, and influence in any situation. But not just any questions. The right questions. The ones that challenge assumptions, spark curiosity, and inspire action. In this lesson, we'll explore three real-life examples of how asking the right questions can lead to remarkable outcomes.
Imagine spending ten years and millions of dollars developing a revolutionary product that you believe will change the world. You launch it with great fanfare, expecting a huge demand and rave reviews. But instead, you face indifference and skepticism. What went wrong? This is what happened to Dean Kamen, the inventor of the Segway. He failed to ask the most crucial question before launching his product: Does it solve a real problem or meet a clear need for the customers? Without answering this question, Kamen's Segway was doomed to be a novelty rather than a necessity – a lesson in the importance of understanding and aligning with the market.
Now picture yourself as the CEO of a successful hospital, with a bold vision to expand your services and reach. You have an opportunity to acquire a rival hospital's cardiac program, which would give you a competitive edge and increase your revenue. You present your plan to your board, confident that they will approve it. But then, someone asks you: How does this acquisition fit with your mission statement? This question stops you in your tracks. You realize that you have not considered how your plan aligns with your hospital's core values and purpose. You wonder if your growth strategy is consistent with your identity and culture. This question shows you the importance of ensuring that your decisions reflect and reinforce your organization's values. It also illustrates how asking reflective questions can help leaders to review and revise their strategies to stay true to their principles.
Finally, imagine having a conversation with a friend who is facing a difficult career choice. He is a minister who feels called to serve a different congregation, but he is afraid of leaving his current one. He asks you for your advice. What would you do? Would you tell him what you think he should do, or would you ask him what he thinks he should do? Andrew Sobel, an author and consultant, chose the latter option. He simply asked his friend: What do you feel is the right decision for you? This question helped his friend to explore his own feelings and values, and to discover his own answer. He decided to follow his calling and join the new congregation, where he found greater fulfillment and joy. This question demonstrates the power of encouraging introspection through thoughtful questioning, which can help individuals to find their own clarity and confidence in their decision-making process.
These three stories show how asking the right questions can make a huge difference in various professional and personal contexts. Whether it's to understand market needs, align business strategies with organizational values, or aid in personal decision-making, the art of inquiry is indispensable. Each story proves that sometimes, the best way to connect, understand, and influence is simply by asking the right question.
Lesson 3: Personal growth and reflection.
How well do you know yourself? How often do you ask yourself questions that challenge your assumptions, reveal your values, and inspire your actions? In this lesson, we'll discover how asking yourself the right questions can lead to personal growth and reflection. We'll also learn from three stories of how others have used questions to transform their lives.
Let's start with a group of bankers who are feeling frustrated and demotivated by their work. They are stuck in a rut of selling products that don't excite them or their clients. Then, someone asks them a simple but powerful question: “Why do you do what you do?” This question makes them pause and think about their true purpose. They realize that they are not just selling products, but helping clients achieve their goals and dreams. They decide to change their approach and focus on building meaningful relationships with their clients. This question rekindles their passion and aligns their work with their values.
Next, let's meet a young man who is facing a tough career choice. He has always wanted to be a doctor, but only because his family expects him to. He is not sure if he really loves medicine or if he is following someone else's path. He attends a career workshop where he is asked to write his own obituary. This exercise forces him to imagine how he wants to be remembered. He writes about his love for travel, languages, and entrepreneurship. He realizes that these are his true passions and that he wants to pursue them. He decides to follow his heart and choose a different career. This exercise helps him discover his authentic self and his personal desires.
Finally, let's learn from Peter Drucker, a legendary thinker and writer on management and leadership. He suggests that we ask ourselves “the five most important questions” to define our personal mission. These questions are: Who am I? What values do I hold dear? What do I want to achieve in life? How do I wish to be remembered? What is my plan to fulfill these aspirations? These questions help us to explore our identity, values, goals, legacy, and action plan. They help us to create a vision for our life and a roadmap to achieve it.
These stories show us how asking ourselves the right questions can lead to personal growth and reflection. They show us that questions can help us to reconnect with our purpose, discover our passions, and define our mission. They show us that questions can help us to understand ourselves better and to live more intentionally.
Lesson 4: Enhancing leadership and influence.
Do you want to be a better leader? Do you want to communicate more effectively, motivate your team, and achieve your goals? If so, there is one skill that you need to master: asking questions. Questions are the secret weapon of great leaders. They can help you to understand, influence, and inspire others in any situation. In this lesson, we'll share three stories of how leaders used questions to transform their interactions and outcomes.
First, let's meet Margaret, a vice president of a major bank. She has a lunch meeting with a long-time client, who she hopes to retain and grow. She spends the entire lunch talking about herself, her achievements, and her opinions. She never asks the client anything about his needs, challenges, or goals. She misses a golden opportunity to deepen the relationship and uncover new opportunities. She learns the hard way that asking open-ended questions is essential to understand and serve clients better. Questions like, “What are you most proud of in your business?” or “How can we help you overcome your biggest obstacle?” could have made the lunch a valuable and memorable experience for both parties.
Next, let's join Claire, a divisional CEO, who has a catch-up meeting with her boss over lunch. They start by discussing business strategies and operational details, but soon run out of things to say. The conversation becomes awkward and boring. Then, her boss asks her a surprising question: “What aspects of your job would you like to spend more time on, and which would you prefer to do less of?” This question makes Claire think about her role and responsibilities. She realizes that she loves mentoring her team and exploring new market strategies, but she doesn't have enough time to do these things. She decides to restructure her role and delegate some of her tasks to others. This question helps her to align her work with her passions and strengths.
Finally, let's see what happens in a planning meeting with a group of managers. They are supposed to make some important decisions, but they end up wasting time on irrelevant details and endless slides. They are confused, bored, and frustrated. No one seems to know what the meeting is about or what they are supposed to do. Then, one of the
managers asks a simple but powerful question: “What have we decided today?” This question cuts through the clutter and focuses the group on the purpose of the meeting. They realize that they have not made any decisions at all. They decide to stop the meeting and start over with a clear agenda and a specific goal. This question helps them to clarify their objectives and actions.
These stories show us how asking the right questions can make a huge difference in leadership. They show us that questions can help us to understand our clients, align our work with our values, and clarify our goals. They show us that questions can help us to communicate more effectively, motivate our team, and achieve our results. They show us that questions can help us to be better leaders.
Final summary
Imagine if you could change your life and the lives of others with just one question. A question that sparks curiosity, insight, and connection. A question that challenges assumptions, reveals values, and inspires action. A question that opens up new worlds of possibilities and perspectives.
That's the power of asking the right question.
You've heard how a simple question like "Why do you do what you do?" can ignite a passion in a group of bored bankers, making them realize they are not just crunching numbers, but helping people achieve their dreams. You've seen how a daring question like "How do you want to be remembered?" can alter the destiny of a young man, making him rethink his choices and write his own obituary. You've learned how a practical question like "What have we decided today?" can turn a chaotic meeting into a productive and decisive one.
These are not just stories. They are examples of how asking meaningful questions can lead to personal growth and effective leadership. The art of inquiry is not just about finding answers; it's about creating opportunities and solutions.
So, as you move forward in your professional and personal life, don't forget the power of a well-placed question. Be curious, be conversational, and be open to the transformative changes that can arise from simply asking the right question.